Saturday, September 04, 2004

aisha thought 1

sometimes, i go through phases where i have to wonder what the next step is. and when i say "next step", i don't mean this in any intangible futuristic non-concrete fashion, but really... in which direction should i take my next step? should i walk towards the bathroom to stare at my pores in the mirror? or should i walk to the kitchen for a glass of merlot? should i walk towards my wallet to pick it up and run to the bodega to buy something to drink other than wine? maybe i should. or should i remain stagnant, not just in my bed, but in life. i mean heck, i don't work, don't want to, so i might as well stay in bed... or maybe i should exercise... who knows. i have to go back to class on monday. oops, wrong. tuesday. law school i much more fun than i thought it would be. my thoughts are racing. i haven't eaten in a while. maybe i should have a salad. maybe i should go out for lunch. i shouldn't spend this much money... i don't have any sort of income. hmmm... what was i getting at? hmmm. i have to read about 100 pages of legal jargon for tuesday. maybe i'll fall in love on my way to school.

couple hours later

i just wrote all these thoughts and the machine deleted them.. or is that simply a fragment of my imagination? i would hope not. i wrote about my fascination with the german language, and how much i love pinot noir... i also wrote about how i think i am such an unproductive individual, but that is all relative to what i find "being productive" really entails... alles ist relatif... just rolls off your tongue. i should teach myself german... maybe i'll take a nap too.
ciao

couple hours later

are you ever involved in a million things but wonder why? i feel as if i'm not doing anything productive with myself. needless to say that this observation is of course relative to what i would say is "being productive"... alles ist relatif... i am in love with the German language. my passions lie in helping those in need. i also have passions that lie in travel and red wine and the german language. what is this fascination i have? i got upset with my boyfriend yesterday because he speaks english, and english only. i didn't tell him he made me upset, but now that i think about it, maybe i should have... but why? what would i get out of telling him that i wish he spoke another language? he could reply with... well, i wish you had bigger breasts... who knows. larry doesn't talk like that. i think i'll take a nap.

couple hours later

are you ever involved in a million things but wonder why? i feel as if i'm not doing anything productive with myself. needless to say that this observation is of course relative to what i would say is "being productive"... alles ist relatif... i am in love with the German language. my passions lie in helping those in need. i also have passions that lie in travel and red wine and the german language. what is this fascination i have? i got upset with my boyfriend yesterday because he speaks english, and english only. i didn't tell him he made me upset, but now that i think about it, maybe i should have... but why? what would i get out of telling him that i wish he spoke another language? he could reply with... well, i wish you had bigger breasts... who knows. larry doesn't talk like that. i think i'll take a nap.