Father's Day Devotional

I visited the closest mega-bookstore in the hopes to find a spiritual guidance book for men that I could give to my brother for Father's Day. It seemed like a reasonable thing to look for. When I actually got to the book store, I found bulletproof bibles, waterproof bibles, bibles you can put your makeup in, bibles that use slang, bibles that use different color ink, bibles with multiple versions inside, bibles that use pictures, bibles that ... but no book about regular guys that don't always look to God, but who are warm and gentle-spirited. The kind of book I was hoping to find would have been a motivational book that doesn't come off as as spiritual one... Instead I found a plethora of bible with useless perks.

Slice of life

Aaah, life seems like it could be so much more exciting in retrospect. I could have done this while I had that and when I was still this... How annoying - I wish I could spend more time DOING rather than HOPING, and then THINKING in retrospect why I didn't DO. Is that grammatically defunct? Anyways. Why do I always tell myself to "live life to the fullest" but it seems I only fall short of the Glory God has set out for me? I can be soooo lazy, bust somehow, despite this laziness, I always come out alright. But I know my life is worth more than just this moment, that I can do more with my talents, and that my talents need to be reworked, nourished and developed. Whenever I update long lost friends or family members with a slice of my life, they revel in my so-called accomplishments, but I don't believe I have accomplished much. I find that I've maintained a "just passing" grade in life, remaining afloat of my self-imposed status quo. So it is 12pm right now, I am set to go to lunch at 1pm, and I have essentially wasted away the morning at work. Today is the day I redeem myself. Today, I will shoot for the moon, today, I will actually WOW through my work and not simply complete a task satisfactorily. Everyone is so proud, but I do nothing. I rather not be recognized when I should than receive accolades when I shouldn't. The next time I share a slice of my life, it must be nothing short of amazing.

aisha thought 1

sometimes, i go through phases where i have to wonder what the next step is. and when i say "next step", i don't mean this in any intangible futuristic non-concrete fashion, but really... in which direction should i take my next step? should i walk towards the bathroom to stare at my pores in the mirror? or should i walk to the kitchen for a glass of merlot? should i walk towards my wallet to pick it up and run to the bodega to buy something to drink other than wine? maybe i should. or should i remain stagnant, not just in my bed, but in life. i mean heck, i don't work, don't want to, so i might as well stay in bed... or maybe i should exercise... who knows. i have to go back to class on monday. oops, wrong. tuesday. law school i much more fun than i thought it would be. my thoughts are racing. i haven't eaten in a while. maybe i should have a salad. maybe i should go out for lunch. i shouldn't spend this much money... i don't have any sort of income. hmmm... what was i getting at? hmmm. i have to read about 100 pages of legal jargon for tuesday. maybe i'll fall in love on my way to school.

couple hours later

i just wrote all these thoughts and the machine deleted them.. or is that simply a fragment of my imagination? i would hope not. i wrote about my fascination with the german language, and how much i love pinot noir... i also wrote about how i think i am such an unproductive individual, but that is all relative to what i find "being productive" really entails... alles ist relatif... just rolls off your tongue. i should teach myself german... maybe i'll take a nap too.
ciao

couple hours later

are you ever involved in a million things but wonder why? i feel as if i'm not doing anything productive with myself. needless to say that this observation is of course relative to what i would say is "being productive"... alles ist relatif... i am in love with the German language. my passions lie in helping those in need. i also have passions that lie in travel and red wine and the german language. what is this fascination i have? i got upset with my boyfriend yesterday because he speaks english, and english only. i didn't tell him he made me upset, but now that i think about it, maybe i should have... but why? what would i get out of telling him that i wish he spoke another language? he could reply with... well, i wish you had bigger breasts... who knows. larry doesn't talk like that. i think i'll take a nap.

couple hours later

are you ever involved in a million things but wonder why? i feel as if i'm not doing anything productive with myself. needless to say that this observation is of course relative to what i would say is "being productive"... alles ist relatif... i am in love with the German language. my passions lie in helping those in need. i also have passions that lie in travel and red wine and the german language. what is this fascination i have? i got upset with my boyfriend yesterday because he speaks english, and english only. i didn't tell him he made me upset, but now that i think about it, maybe i should have... but why? what would i get out of telling him that i wish he spoke another language? he could reply with... well, i wish you had bigger breasts... who knows. larry doesn't talk like that. i think i'll take a nap.